Devil Makes Pitch to Tony Curtis... Some Like It Hot

Tony Curtis, famed actor and part time painter, has died at the age of 85. Look, basically, take Eddie Fisher's write up from below and switch names. Famous entertainer, tremendous ego, troubled life of multiple marriages, terrible dad to a terrific daughter (in this case, Jamie Lee Curtis). He'll be missed, blah blah blah. Read more HERE

God to Eddie Fisher, Wish You Were Here

Eddie Fisher, 1950s pop singer, died Thursday from hip surgery complications. A tremendous success with over 30 charted hits, Fisher's fame never recovered after his very scandalous divorce from Debbie Reynolds. But he did give us actress Carrie Fisher, though, so all's forgiven. And while his death provided no points, I appreciate his consideration in dying because this has been the slowest summer of death EVER! Eddie Fisher, dead at the age of 82. Read more HERE

George Steinbrenner, Damn Yankee, Dead

George Steinbrenner died today at the age of 80. The longest serving owner of the New York Yankees, Steinbrenner oversaw 7 championships during his 37 years of ownership through a simple theory of outspending everyone else. He returned the Yankees to prominence, while providing Jerry Seinfeld with years of material. It's probably safe to assume Steinbrenner is currently in a pitchfork fight with Billy Martin as you read this. He will be missed... by somebody... probably his two weiner sons Hal and Hank... but not me. Read more HERE.

BREAKING NEWS: A Really Old Guy Just Died

Robert Byrd, completely expectedly, died today at the age of 92. A former Klu Klux Klan member, Byrd had a change of heart just before his first election to Congress, deciding that maybe all voters folks are created equally. He then proceeded, as a senator, to personally log 14 hours in a filibuster against the Civil Rights Act of 1964. But hey, he was in congress a REALLY long time, and he played the fiddle on Hee Haw, so he must be a good guy. Longevity does produce some pretty incredible numbers, though.

• In 63 years of public service, he never lost an election.
  
• Cast over 18,000 votes during his Senate service.
  
• Since 1991, secured more than $1 billion in earmarks for his adopted home state of West Virginia.
  
• He was the last living senator to vote on granting statehood (Hawaii, Opposed).
  
• He has at least 8 roads/bridges named after him, including the Robert C. Byrd Expressway , Robert C. Byrd Bridge, Robert C. Byrd Highway (Corridor H), Robert C. Byrd Appalachian Highway System (Corridor H), Robert C. Byrd Appalachian Highway System (Corridor G/U.S. 119), Robert C. Byrd Bridge in Huntington, Robert C. Byrd Interchange at Birch River, and Robert C. Byrd Appalachian Highway System (Corridor L/I-77).
  

His most important contribution, however, will be the 8 points he left dear Janice. Read more HERE


* points awarded

You never sausage a death!

Jimmy Dean, the man directly responsible for at least 20 lbs of me, died Sunday at the age of 81. An all around entertainer, Dean hosted several radio and television shows, including the aptly named The Jimmy Dean Show, where he provided a national stage for country music to reach the masses. He had several hit recordings, including "Big Bad John", and even played the part of billionaire Willard Whyte in the James Bond movie Diamonds are Forever. But obviously his most important contribution to society was Jimmy Dean sausage. That shiny delicious golden chub pack of awesomeness will forever be his legacy. And true to form, Dean left this world the way every real man wants to: in front of the television, eating dinner. Rest in peace, hero of mine. Read more HERE

Betty White Kills Again

Rue McClanahan died today at the age of 76. Appearing in numerous television shows including Maude and Mama's Family, she is probably best known as geriatric supertramp Blanche Devereaux of the beloved hit Golden Girls. On marriage 5 of 6 at the time of production, McClanahan obviously must have struggled finding creative motivation for the role of Blanche. To be fair, she did later star as the Reverand Mother Mary Regina in the broadway play Nunsense, and since God hates nuns, it's safe to say her parody got her into heaven. She'll be missed. Read more HERE

Dennis Hopper, Easy Die'er

Dennis Hopper*, dead today at the age of 74. His movie credits include Apocalypse Now, Blue Velvet, Easy Rider, and Hoosiers, but obviously he'll be remembered for his masterful portrayal of Deacon in the smash hit Waterworld. Talk about a badass movie. But not nearly as badass as Mr. Dennis Hopper. The man, just two months before death, was on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, celebrating his awesomeness. Even doing Ameriprise commercials, you fully expected him to start a fight with someone. Probably punching angels as we speak. Anyway, Mr. Hopper is survived by four kids, five wives, and countless works of art of which most folks are unaware. Read more HERE


*points awarded