Jack LaLanne dies, digs own burial plot, embalms himself

Jack LaLanne, our one real hope for someday seeing a negative point celebrity, has died of pneumonia. A fitness guru for over 125 years, LaLanne preached a lifestyle of relaxation, proper diet, and towing boats with your teeth while shackled. Why, you may ask? Because when Little Jackie was a wee lad, he set fire to his parents' house. He also attacked his brother with an axe, screaming at the top of his lungs. The cause? Evidently refined sugar and bleached flour. From the age of 14 on, he eliminated everything from his diet but fruits, vegetables, and lean protein. That means for 82 years, that crazy sumbitch didn't eat a single cookie or brownie... no grilled cheese, no chili. Now yes, he made it to 96 years old, but I mean, come on. I'll take 80 years and beer, and call myself the winner. Jack LeLanne, dead at 96, but his soul is somewhere selling juicers to angels... or devils, depending on your take. Read more HERE.

Gerry Rafferty, the guy who sang that song, dead

Gerry Rafferty, the guy who sang that song, you know the one from that movie... and that other one, with the saxophone... goes BRA BAAAAH DADA DADADA... come on, you know! He just died at the age of 63. Read more HERE.

Listen more, down here:

2010 Happy Funtime Friends and Family Death Predictions Winner(s)

In a year when one pick was enough, and four folks shared a brain, we have a four way tie for first place. Congratulations go out to Megan D, Shaun H, Jennifer T, and Julia T. Each will be presented with a check for $37.50 at a very intimate awards ceremony that won't actually occur.

After three days and no cold celebrities found, I feel confident we can call 2010 and move on to 2011. And maybe it's the sun shining in the window, or the thought of spring just a few short months away, but I think we're going to have a bumper crop of breathless bigshots this year. You can almost feel the excitement. It is indeed, the most wonderful time of the year. Group picks for 2011 have been reviewed, approved, alphabetized, and posted (to the left, and HERE). Let's send them to heaven in twenty eleven, people!

*btw, obviously if there's a mistake on the group picks, please let me know asap.

2010 Celebrity Death Montage