Who shot JR? Megan!

Make pretend oil tycoon Larry Hagman has died.  He did Dallas.  Probably some other stuff, but really... Dallas.  Twice.  The awesome original, and the recent reboot.   Ooh, he was in I Dream of Jeanie too!  So oilman, and astronaut; that's quite the remarkable pretend life.  Completing the story, Hagman died peacefully in a Dallas hospital, bringing life full circle for JR.  And putting Megan ahead of Kent on the scoreboard doesn't hurt either.  Larry Martin Hagman, dead at the age of 81.  Read more HERE.

*Points awarded

Moon River runs dry

Andy Williams, Jesus of Branson, has died. A crooner by birth, his songs were like a nap for the ears. Like benadryl turkey. Even Williams sounded like he was yawning as he sang. He started out in a quartet with his brothers Don, Dick, and Bob as The Williams Brothers, and what a bunch of hell raisers they were. But talent took him solo, and solo he now lays. Christmas will continue, but it'll never be the same. Howard Andrew Williams, dead at the age of 84. Read more HERE.

* points awarded

Deacon Frye gets face to face with the Lord

Sherman Hemsley, he of television fame, has died. Hemsley is probably best known as dry cleaner George Jefferson from the hit show The Jeffersons, and to a lesser extent Ernest Frye on Amen, but obviously his finest work was as the boss on Dinosaurs. This is a fact. B.P. Richfield, people. He stole the show. But we're not here to eulogize Dinosaurs, rather we should remember the man who today finally found himself movin on up (yes it's the easy joke, but it had to be done). Sherman Alexander Hemsley, the most unexpected progressive rock fan ever, dead at the age of 74.

Die, Sally Ride

Sally Ride, a woman, has died. Get this... she went into space without a Y chromosome. Wait, it gets crazier... she was the first one to do it too! No I know, crazy, right? Ms. Ride was also the youngest astronaut to ever break the surly bonds of gravity and punch the face of God. And now God has exacted his revenge. Sally Kristen Ride, dead at the age of 61. Read more HERE.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Stephen Covey, the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, has died. The irony of it taking me eight days to write this is not lost, I assure you. Now I don't personally believe in self help books, I believe the only person they really help is the author, but to each their own. I'm sure Covey's up in heaven, giving seminars on eternal preparation to those confused about what to do forever. Stephen Richards Covey, dead at the age of 79. Read more about the Seven Habits HERE.

Who solves the mystery when Matlock dies?

North Carolinian Andy Griffith has died.  Best known for the The Andy Griffith Show and Matlock, Griffith was also an accomplished comedian and singer.  Unfortunately, he went to a crap pot of a college, which just demonstrates that nobody is perfect.  My personal belief?  This has Ron Howard's dirty little fingerprints all over it, but only time will tell.  Andrew Samuel Griffith, dead at the age of 86.  Read more HERE.

* points awarded (x2)

Burying Bradbury

Ray Bradbury has died.  Or has he?  Known for books such as Fahrenheit 451 and Something Wicked This Way Comes, Bradbury often credited his love of writing to an experience at a traveling carnival as a young child where he was commanded to "Live forever".  Thank God the guy didn't tell him to flip burgers or tickle strangers.  Now I'm not a big reader... big shocker there, but I like a good personality and that's definitely Bradbury.  Ray Douglas Bradbury, dead at the age of 91.  Read more HERE.

100 people surveyed, top 5 answers on the board. You've got to try and get the most popular answer. Here's the question...

Name a former actor turned gameshow host who kissed every female alive in the late 70s and early 80s.



Oh Richard Dawson, what didn't you do?  You owned Hogan's Heroes, balanced out Charles Nelson Reilly, rocked the 3 piece suit, helped families battle, making movies with Arnold Schwarzenegger... the list is endless.  And I'm sure by now you've already planted a wet one on Martha Washington, Joan of Arc, and that lady that always got hit with the cream pie on The Three Stooges.  Enjoy heaven, you crazy dead Brit, you.   Colin Lionel Emm, dead at the age of 79.  Read more HERE.

Stayin' Alive my ass

 

Robin Gibb, the skinny Bee Gee, has died.  I thought he was a goner a little bit ago, then laughed quite loudly when he came back to life, taunting those with points riding on his breath.  Now it is he who taunts, making me write two of these in one day.  That jerk, always thinking of himself.  First of May would have been a perfect death date, but noooooooo... couldn't just do that one thing for me.  Anyway, by my count that now puts a majority of the Bee Gees in heaven... I'm looking at you Barry.  Robin Hugh Gibb, dead at the age of 62.  Read more HERE.

* points awarded (x3)

The longest imminent death ever

 

Abdelbeset Ali Mohmed al Megrahi, a dog scoot of a person, has died... finally.  His death brings a bit of closure to those affected by his tragic actions... and points!  (Sorry for the jinx, Kent)  The Lockerbie bomber guy, dead at the age of 60.  Read more HERE. 


* points awarded (x2)

Ack, too many title choices!

 

Heaven Knows?  Last Dance?  Dim All the Lights?  Bad Girls headed for Hot Stuff?  This Time I Know it's for Real?  Never has a person been so generous to the death title writers as the dearly departed Donna Summer.  Former backup singer for Three Dog Night, Ms. Summer had many memorable songs, including... well, all those above.  Sadly no one picked her, so her points go the way of her genre.  Shame too, Kent's getting a little too confortable up there in 1st place.  LaDonna Adrian Gaines, dead at the age of 63. Without her, this doesn't happen:

There goes my hope for a Guist Brothers Show

There's only one thing I love more than Swamp People, and that's the Guist Brothers on Swamp People.  So it saddens me to have to report that Mitchell Guist is no more.  An incident while boating has taken him to that big swamp in the sky.  Mitchell Guist, dead at the age of 48.  See more HERE.

My Boss is a Jewish Hairdresser

 

Vidal Sassoon, the original Edward Scissorhands, has died.  My mom get's a card for Mother's Day, Mary gets a personal stylist.  Never gonna win that competition.  Sassoon, a former soldier who was pushed into his trade by his mother, single-handedly killed the beehive.  He then went on to sign his name to anything even remotely hair related.  If you don't look good, we don't look good.  That must have been some magical shampoo, I tell you what.  But alas, when the Lord comes a calling, you take the promotion.  And so it is, Vidal Sassoon, dead at the age of 84.  Read more HERE.

Let the wild rumpus start!

Maurice Sendak has died.  He wrote and illustrated Where the Wilds Things Are... you probably already know that.  But when's the last time you read the book?  Or better yet, had somebody read it to you?  As always, we here at Happy Funtime are happy to assist you.  Where the Wild Things Are, as read by Christopher Walken.



Maurice Sendak, dead at the age of 83.  Read more HERE.

Now who's going to do Cary Grant?

Goober from The Andy Griffith Show is dead?!?  This is just a sad, dark day.  The man single handedly replaced Gomer Pyle... you show me someone else who could have done that?  Heaven's gained one hell of a gas station attendant my friends, I tell you what.  Extensive movie work too...  could you imagine Cannonball Run II without him?  The Lord's just a Andy Griffith/Ron Howard murder-suicide away from a reunion special.  George Lindsey, dead at the age of 83.  Instead of reading more, just enjoy one of my favorite Andy Griffith scenes.

Beasties lose their bestie

MCA of the group Beastie Boys, has died.  He did a little bit of everything; rapper, song writer, director, activist.  Unfortunately, he was sort of a jerk and faked us all into thinking he was getting better.  Now all those points go to waste... sigh.  Adam Nathaniel Yauch, dead at the age of 47.  Read more HERE.

For now, Dick Clark... so long.

Dick Clark, forever 34 years old, has died.  His hair never moved, and sadly in recent years, neither did his face.  Now nothing moves, except some folks up the leaderboard!  Different generations remember him for different things.  He started on his family owned radio station, then moved to television where he brought music to the teen masses with American Bandstand, gave away money to middle age folks on Pyramid, and comforted old folks coping with the scary new year with Rockin New Years Eve.  His current project is a reboot with Ed McMahon, Jesus Bloopers & Practical Jokes.  Check your local listings.  Until then, remember our dearly departed.  Richard Wagstaff Clark, dead at the age of 82.  Read more HERE.


* points awarded (x5)

Somebody missed Andy Rooney

Mike Wallace of CBS and 60 Minutes fame, has died.  With numerous books penned, awards shelved, and presidents interviewed, Wallace did what no other person was able to do; snap my lazy butt back into updating the death list.  And congratulations again to Joe T, who correctly predicted that a 93 year old man in poor health would die.  It was his second score in three years of play, the first being 96 year old Harry Morgan.  Myron Wallace, dead at the age of 93.  Read more HERE.


* points awarded

Waiting to Exhale (giggles!)

Whitney Houston, an awe inspiring talent who's beautiful life Bobby Brown chewed up and pooped out, has died.

Now you may be asking yourself, How Will I Know she's dead?   Easy, they found her body.
Whitney, should I continue Saving All My Love for You?  No... again, she's dead.
This is terrible, Happy Funtime; I'm staring to get So Emotional.   I'm sorry, but again, she's dead.

She had like a kabillion number one hits, but none recently.  Oh she tried, mind you, had a new song but couldn't sing it because her voice was just so gone.  Even Kevin Costner couldn't save her from this. A sad ending to such a happy beginning of a life.  Whitney Houston, dead at the age of 48.  Read more HERE.

Carry us through our grief, Lin Yu Chun...

The Soul Train has departed

Don Cornelius, creator of Soul Train, has died. Famous for phrases such as "and you can bet your last money, it's all gonna be a stone gas, honey" and others you'd be embarrassed to hear me say in person, Cornelius introduced new sounds and style to an audience that might otherwise have never been exposed, and gave a platform to under appreciated musicians. Don Cornelius and his voice, dead at the age of 75. Read more HERE.

Joe Paterno, dead At Last

BOOM! You see what I did there? You expected that for Etta James... remember, the easy joke. But no, I saved it, and used it on Joe Paterno! Totally unexpected! Unlike JoePa's death, which was a long time coming. A tiny, cranky old man with a beautiful football mind, he's finally taking that long nap he so desperately needed. On this day though, let us remember the good things he did. Like his role of Carl Fredricksen in the Pixar movie Up. Mr. Penn State himself, dead at the age of 85. Read more HERE.

* points awarded (x2)

Etta James is dead

Singer of that song... you know the one. The one that everybody is going to use as a joke, thinking they were the first one to think of it. They'll laugh in their heads, giggling that her song also went so well with her passing, after all this time. They'll snort the first time they tell someone, and that person will say "Ha, I said the same thing when I heard!". And so it goes... But here at the Happy Funtime Friends and Family Death Predictions Extravaganza, we don't go for the easy joke. We think, think some more, till it's thunk, and then we run with it. So Jamesetta Hawkins, singer of my wedding song, is dead at the age of 73. Read more HERE.


* points awarded (x9)

2012 Picks are posted

So the picks are entered. Please look over them and make sure everything looks right. They are currently linked to the left under "2012 Links".

Well Friends and Family, it looks like we can call it...

And the winner for 2011 is Cathy H. Some of us may have not scored as many points as we had hoped, but in the end we had a competitive year and hopefully some fun along the way. That's all you can ask for, right? So if you see Cathy H., take a moment to congratulate her and ask her nicely not to rub it in to her husband too much during the next 12 months.

And with that, I leave you with the Celebrity Death Montage for 2011. The picks for 2012 will be up after the deadline, and I wish you all well with your lists.

Announcing the 1st Annual Margaret Walker Humanitarian Award

Much like Harriet Tubman delivering innocent souls from certain death, Margaret Walker has worked tirelessly for the last 2 years providing safe passage for celebrities, all but assuring their health and well being. In that time, twenty choices have been made by her, with zero points earned. Just a mention on her list can extend the life of those assumed dead. In 2011 alone, Mrs. Walker extended the lives of both Betty White and Billy Graham.

In recognition of her efforts, we here at the Happy Funtime Friends and Family Death Predictions Extravaganza have created The Margaret Walker Humanitarian Award. To be presented annually, the Award recognizes those who refuse to earn points in a game based on earning points. The award comes with a cash prize; the interest earned on the pool money for the year.

It is only fitting then, that the first "Peggy" be awarded to Margaret Walker. Enjoy your recognition, and 19¢, Mrs. Walker. We salute you.

We'll call it a year...

in 5 days. New Years Eve can get crazy. Might be some undiscovered points laying around.