The Original Most Interesting Man in the World has died

Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il, has died. His excellence will never be truly understood by us. It is reported that his first time golfing, he shot -38 under par, including 5 holes in one. He also created a meal called the "double bread and meat". That's right, he invented the hamburger. His birth was reported as mystical. He had the ability to change the weather based on his mood, and his trendsetting attire was reported as being copied by leaders the world over.

But alas, the crazy train has run out of coal. Kim Jong Il, so ronery, dead at the age of 69. Read more HERE.



* points awarded (x8)

Here's what I think of your 4 points, Joe

Harry Morgan, the lowest point score ever awarded, has died.  Best known for M*A*S*H, and my personal favorite, Dragnet, Morgan was actually an accomplished character actor, appearing in hundreds of movies and television shows.  More importantly, however, are the precious points he leaves behind.  It's the beginning of a comeback!  For Joe, not Harry.  He's not coming back anytime soon, I assure you.  Harry Bratsburg, dead at the age of 96.  Read more HERE. 




* points awarded

I bet PJ killed him

Bil Keane, creator of Family Circus, has died.  They say a comic strip goes downhill when the originator is no longer involved, but I just can't imagine this one getting any worse.  To be fair, a lot of folks enjoy reading Family Circus.   Just not me.  But to each their own.  Bil Keane, dead at the age of 89.   Read more HERE.

God takes up Smokin

Smokin Joe Frazier, former undefeated heavyweight boxing champion of the world, has died.  In a career that spanned 3 decades, Frazier did it all.  He capped his amateur career as a gold medal winner at the 1964 Summer Olympics.  After going pro in 1965, he ran up a record of 26-0 leading up to the Fight of the Century with an also undefeated Muhammad Ali (31-0), where he handed Ali his first defeat.  After 29 straight wins, Frazier's first defeat came at the hands of George Foreman.  Subsequent years found him losing twice to Ali in rematches, and finally retiring in 1976 with a second loss to the electric grill guy.  Frazier did attempt a comeback in 1981 battling to a draw, but retired for good after that to focus on training young boxers, including his own children.  He ended with an overall professional record of 32-4-1, with 73% of his victories coming by knockout.  Sadly, less than 2 months after being diagnosed with liver cancer, Joe Frazier retired for really, really good.  Joseph William Frazier, dead at the age of 67.  Read more HERE.

Did you ever wonder, why do they call it kicking the bucket? There's no bucket involved. Unless you're cremated, I suppose. But you wouldn't want to kick that bucket. Unless you didn't like that person. I'd like to think folks wouldn't kick my bucket.

Andy Rooney and his eyebrows have quit whining and opining.  The vast majority of folks only know him from his commentary on 60 minutes, but the truth is he did a lot of other amazing things.  Unfortunately, I'm in the vast majority of folks who only know him from his commentary on 60 minutes.  Go figure.  Yay my short attention-spanned generation!  Andy Rooney, dead at the age of 92.  Read more HERE.

An apple a day... WILL KILL YOU!

Steve Jobs, cofounder of Apple, is iDead.  The undisputed leader of swimming upstream against Microsoft, Jobs had a knack for making intuitive products people actually wanted.  That is, after he was kicked out of the company he helped found, only to have them come crawling back, begging him to return.  Most CEOs want one product to forever link their legacy.  Jobs?  Just stick an I in front of a noun and he probably patented it.  Steve Jobs and his black mock turtleneck, dead at the age of 56.  Read more HERE.

As a side note, now would not be a good time to point out to Jennifer that picking Jobs again this year would have put her in a very close 2nd place with a 40% kill rate. Thank you for not mentioning this to Jennifer. Jennifer would be devastated.

I WAS SPARTACUS!

Andy Whitfield, model and star of the hit television series Spartacus: Blood and Sand, has died.  He quickly rose to fame in the title role of the series, only to be stricken with non-Hodgkin lymphoma.  Whitfield died from the disease a mere 18 months later.  In a strange twist that is life, the original Spartacus Kirk Douglas is still puttering along, cheating Matt, Janice, and the Dezendorf Family out of a much needed 6 points.  Andy Whitfield, dead at the age of 39.   Read more HERE.



* points awarded

Coy or Vance is Dead!!!

This guy is dead, people!  Do you know which one it is?  Do you feel guilty not knowing?  You should, because this man helped fill in admirably for his cousins Bo and Luke when they went off to race NASCAR.   You think Uncle Jesse's goats were going to feed themselves?  And who was going to take on Boss Hogg?  Christopher "Chip" Mayer (Vance), dead at the age of 57.  Read a little bit more HERE.

What's black and white and dead all over?

Amy Winehouse, the girl who seemed to have it all together, has died.   Who saw this coming?   I mean, between the smoking, drinking, extreme drug use, self-mutilation, anorexia, depression, and violence, when did she have a down moment to die?   I'd love to write about her music, but in all honesty she was more famous for being a trainwreck of a person than anything else.   In death, however, she has found new fame, as she can now take the crown as biggest points score in the history of the Happy Funtime Friends and Family Death Predictions Extravaganza... at 73 points.   Amy Winehouse, dead at the age of 27.  Read more HERE.

* points awarded (x2)

Once a quitter, always a quitter

Betty Ford, former drunk and pill popper, has now quit breathing.   In all honesty, she was a fascinating and honest woman with her shortcomings.  She took her troubles and found ways to help others.   Even in death, she brought Jennifer into first place (with an impressive 30% kill rate, I might add).   Betty Ford, dead at the age of 93.  Please, read more HERE.

*points awarded (x3)

Mr Wuf's just sobbing like a baby right now

Lorenzo Charles, the ultimate Wolfpack hero, died today in a single person bus accident at the age of 47.  Charles is the man who's buzzer beating dunk won the 1983 NCAA championship for NC State.  Below is the second half of the game, click forward to 34:25 to see the final play. And as always, feel free to read more HERE.

Marshmellowed Meatballs now available in the St. Martha Cafeteria

Alice Playten, the newlywed cook from the old alka seltzer commercial, has died.  She did some other stuff, but... eh.  Watch the commercial HERE.  As for the other stuff, read more HERE.

Ok, now raise your hand if you were worth points to Megan last year

Peter Falk, cigar smoking detective and book reading grandfather to Fred Savage, has died.   Falk was a fascinating man.  Did you know he was an accomplished artist?  Worked in oils and sketches.   Did you know the man who played a detective had a private detective daughter in real life?  Catherine Falk.   Did you know Falk had a glass eye?  Yep, during a little league game he was called out at third base.  Falk proceeded to pull out his glass eye, hand it to the umpire, and say "Try this".   He was a funny guy, and his final laugh was to remind us that maybe last years picks weren't so bad after all... just a year early.  Peter Falk, dead at the age of 83.  Read more HERE.

Yakety Yak, Can't Talk Back

Carl Gardner, former lead singer of The Coasters, has died. Gardner was the lead on every memorable hit by The Coasters (the first vocal group elected into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame). Hits include Searchin, Along Came Jones, Yakety Yak, Poison Ivy, and Charlie Brown. Carl Gardner, dead at the age of 83. Read more HERE.

An extremely ______ man has ______.

     Leonard Stern was born in _____________, in _____________.  After college,
                                  (place)             (year)
Stern found work writing for several _____________ television shows, including
                                       (adjective)
Honeymooners, Get Smart, and _____________.  
                               (tv show)
     One night while _____________, Stern and his friend _____________ created a game
                      (action verb)                          (proper name)
called _____________ _____________.  Their friends exclaimed, "What a great 
         (adjective)       (noun)    
_____________!"  So the two _____________ and started their own _____________.
    (noun)                   (past tense verb)                           (noun)
Since that day, over _____________ books have been _____________.
                        (number)                         (verb) 

Leonard Stern, dead at the age of 87.  Read more HERE.

Guess Marshal Dillon missed Miss Kitty afterall

James Arness, the long tall Gunsmoke legend, has died. Measuring in at 6'7", Arness cut an imposing figure, which was in stark contrast to his lighthearted personality (he was notorious for giggle fits while on set). Arness was also the recepient of many awards during his life, from a star on the Walk of Fame, to a Bronze Star Medal and Purple Heart for his war service. And his younger brother loved movies about gladiators. James Arness, dead at the age of 88.
Read more HERE.

Jack Kevorkian Commits Really Slow Suicide

Poor health has caught up to Dr. Death, who died today at the age of 83 from a blood clot. The blood clot has been sentenced to 8 years in prison for assisting in his death.

Please remember that while many will debate his place of rest in heaven or hell, his enternal soul bound by his deeds both seen and unseen in life, Jennifer totally scored 17 points!!!!! Sneaking up the leaderboard. Read more HERE.


* points awarded

Conaway Done Gone Away

Jeff Conaway, high on life and such, has died. His acting career spanned all genres. From the smug and cocky Kenickie in Grease, to the smug and cocky Bobby Wheeler on Taxi, his characters seemed to flow from the heart. Conaway also showcased his directing chops, first with the blockbuster movie Bikini Summer II, then with the... well that's it. Bikini Summer II. But obviously they wouldn't have risked the Bikini Summer franchise by letting just anyone behind the camera. Alas, it was Conaway's relentless volunteer work in getting drugs off the streets that was his demise. And somehow, Jo-Ellen predicted what no one else could... that a hopeless addict who almost killed himself last year falling down stairs might be a great death guess. Jeff Conaway, dead at the age of 60. Read more HERE.


* points awarded

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Strikes Again

Barbara Stuart, Rex Kramer's wife in the movie Airplane!, has died. Over the past 14 months, Kareem has "retired" the following costars:
Peter Graves
Barbara Billingsley
Leslie Nielsen
Barbara Stuart

Until he is brought to justice, I suggest locking your doors and wearing Lakers shirts. In the meantime, read more HERE.

Going to heaven? Oh YEAAAAAAH!

Flamboyant overly fake 80s wrestling fans around the world are saddened, as Macho Man Randy Savage has died. A former minor league baseball player, Savage switched to the family business of wrestling after injuries took their toll. Most surprising? That the pitchman for Slim Jims would die of a heart attack. I mean, who saw that coming? Randall Poffo, dead at the age of 58. Read more HERE.

Killebrew? Don't mind if I do!

Baseball great Harmon Killebrew has died. A first ballot Hall of Famer known for his insane homerun blasts, Killebrew was truly a humble and genuinely nice guy. He was the face of the Twins franchise, and the inspiration for the MLB logo.


Harmon Killebrew, dead at the age of 74. Read more HERE.

Osama bin Laden Dead

As my daughter once said to a potty with pride, "Bye-bye Poopie!"


Read more HERE.

Raise your hand if you were worth points to Janice LAST year

Geraldine Ferraro, former vice presidential candidate (and my new favorite dead person) has died at the age of 75. I'm sure she did some other stuff, but basically she ran for vice president, all while being a woman!!!! Crazy, right? Feel free to read more HERE.

An absolutely normal woman has died

Elizabeth Taylor, serial wife, one time beauty, and desk clerk at Crazy Manor has died. Taylor started acting at the age of 10, appearing in the movie There's One Born Every Minute. Her striking beauty and screen presence led to more work, which in turn led to larger roles. In total, Taylor appeared in over 50 movies, including Cleopatra, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, winning countless awards. During this time, she also appeared in 8 marriages, recycling Richard Burton in a show of restraint. (Husband number 4, Eddie Fisher, lost last year). In her later years, she peddled perfume, befriended outcasts, and even voiced Maggie Simpson. Recent health problems ultimately lead to her demise. Elizabeth Taylor Hilton Wilding Todd Fisher Burton Burton Warner Fortensky, dead at the age of 79. Read more HERE.


* points awarded (x5)

Jack LaLanne dies, digs own burial plot, embalms himself

Jack LaLanne, our one real hope for someday seeing a negative point celebrity, has died of pneumonia. A fitness guru for over 125 years, LaLanne preached a lifestyle of relaxation, proper diet, and towing boats with your teeth while shackled. Why, you may ask? Because when Little Jackie was a wee lad, he set fire to his parents' house. He also attacked his brother with an axe, screaming at the top of his lungs. The cause? Evidently refined sugar and bleached flour. From the age of 14 on, he eliminated everything from his diet but fruits, vegetables, and lean protein. That means for 82 years, that crazy sumbitch didn't eat a single cookie or brownie... no grilled cheese, no chili. Now yes, he made it to 96 years old, but I mean, come on. I'll take 80 years and beer, and call myself the winner. Jack LeLanne, dead at 96, but his soul is somewhere selling juicers to angels... or devils, depending on your take. Read more HERE.

Gerry Rafferty, the guy who sang that song, dead

Gerry Rafferty, the guy who sang that song, you know the one from that movie... and that other one, with the saxophone... goes BRA BAAAAH DADA DADADA... come on, you know! He just died at the age of 63. Read more HERE.

Listen more, down here:

2010 Happy Funtime Friends and Family Death Predictions Winner(s)

In a year when one pick was enough, and four folks shared a brain, we have a four way tie for first place. Congratulations go out to Megan D, Shaun H, Jennifer T, and Julia T. Each will be presented with a check for $37.50 at a very intimate awards ceremony that won't actually occur.

After three days and no cold celebrities found, I feel confident we can call 2010 and move on to 2011. And maybe it's the sun shining in the window, or the thought of spring just a few short months away, but I think we're going to have a bumper crop of breathless bigshots this year. You can almost feel the excitement. It is indeed, the most wonderful time of the year. Group picks for 2011 have been reviewed, approved, alphabetized, and posted (to the left, and HERE). Let's send them to heaven in twenty eleven, people!

*btw, obviously if there's a mistake on the group picks, please let me know asap.

2010 Celebrity Death Montage